. . . . .
Thursday 16 May 2013 @ 01:13
****
“Why are you into temporariness?”
He didn’t get my question so, I rephrased it,
“Why do you glorify things that
are not permanent such as beauty, per se?” I thought I would offend him a
little with a bit of sarcasm in my query but he remained calm. He then asked
me,
“Tell me, what is ‘permanent’,
anyway? Why do people so obsess about making permanent things or matters, a
priority? Why do people keep on wanting to make things a “Forever” when the
truth is, nothing is forever in this world? If there’s anything permanent, that
will be, ‘bullshit’. Bullshit is forever.”
Then I saw it. When other people
learnt that he is narcissistic, I learnt that he is actually broken. I wondered what made him the person he is
today. I wondered how he got so bitter. Silence grew between us. He stared out
to the streets and I fixed my eyes to the table. For a moment I wished I could
hug him tightly but I offered him my hot beverage instead. He declined it by
saying,
“I don’t drink from the cup of an insensitive bastard.” He referred me as ‘insensitive bastard’. Maybe he was right.
After all, I was pretty judgmental like the others towards him. I guess my
query did offend him a little.
The coffee was still warm. The rain had
stopped. I found that the day was getting late so I excused myself, leaving him
and the coffee behind.
While walking back home, I had
the image of his sad eyes in my head. Suddenly, I noticed that I’ve left my sweater
at the café so, I ran back to get it. My pace stopped as I saw from the glass
windows of the café that he was still there, sitting at the table we sat
before. He had his fingers wrapped around my leftover coffee and his head
rested on his right elbow. For a few seconds, he looked like an abandoned
child. Then, I noticed that my sweater was underneath his right arm.
The night grew darker and colder.
I stared long at him from the glass windows and for the first time I saw
someone who is perfectly safe, in his own world, but safe, at least.
****
